If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
