God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
