went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize