We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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