does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
