I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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