Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
