so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
