How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
