I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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