i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
