There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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