Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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