Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
