Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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