Screwed.edu
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
