Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
