You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
