Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize