even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
