Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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