this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
