Your face is a jimmy john
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
