His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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