they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
