I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
