honey bunches of taint.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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