Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize