Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I color on your dick again?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
