I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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