I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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