You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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