YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
