Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
