RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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