oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
