i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize