Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
