Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
