doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
