I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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