So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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