The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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