i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
