I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
