thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
