I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
