while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just pee around me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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