I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
