i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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