this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
