Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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