You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry about my life...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize