Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
