I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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