Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
