a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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