just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
