yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
