Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize