it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
