Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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