Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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