Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
