My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
