We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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