Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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