OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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